So lately I’ve been on a book-reading binge, no joke. I recently devoured Tucker Max’s new book, Assholes Finish First, and I also re-read all three of Chelsea Handler’s books…this is what I do. I go through reading phases and now I’ve moved onto an awesome new book written by Hill Harper, one of the hottie’s from “CSI.”
The Conversation: How Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships is a book that I might not have normally picked up, but I have to say, I really enjoyed Harper’s insight into building a long-lasting relationship with someone. God knows that I’m certainly no relationship expert and I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes so for me, it’s always worthwile and interesting to hear someone else’s point of view on the subject.
He starts off by saying how you must find a love for yourself before you can find a fulfilling relationship, which is completely obvious but then he goes on to discuss, what he calls, AFI (Attraction , Friendship, Intimacy). He feels that you need AFI in order to have a healty relationship and what happens is that many men and women go from A to I and then try to deal with F later on, which makes it hard for the relationship to last.
Another thought that caught my attention was what Harper says to look for in a mate. “People tend to look for status in a mate when they should be looking for potential.” Harper goes on to even use Barack and Michelle Obama as the perfect example, (President Obama was afriend of Harper’s from Harvard Law School!). Apparently Obama was “nowhere near” Michelle’s level when they first got together. She also happened to be the breadwinner (insane) for the first several years of their relationship and, I even learned that 70% of professional Black women are unmarried. Now I don’t feel so bad about being single at 27. Very interesting all in all.