11.22.2006
To the Side Now

So I would say that in maybe the last few months I’ve been noticing an onslew of JAPey looking girls wearing side ponytails, yes, you heard me- SIDE freaking PONYTAILS. Oh and you know the girl I’m talking about…she’s wearing her UGG boots, her Juicy sweats and is carrying some blatently obvious designer bag that definitely has the logo on every inch of it (LV, Dior, Gucci, etc.). Now don’t get me wrong…I can appreciate the JAP. Hell, some have even accused ME of being one. But the thing is…I need to get this out there:

Dear Long Island/NJ/Westchester JAP,

Now, while I find your dedication to spending your parent’s money endearing and your love of fashion….inspiring? Um…well, the side ponytail is where you’ve CROSSED THE LINE into Wal-Mart territory. Stop and desist now and I promise I won’t mock your UGG boots from 3 years ago.

Yours Truly,

Queen of the 1/4 Life Crisis (and JAP warden of Long Island)

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